


Ink

by Fernon



Series: Soulmate AU [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, But Only a Little Bit - Freeform, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Sad, Soulmates, happy-ish ending?, the end is weird for a reason, this is short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 19:44:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17855789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fernon/pseuds/Fernon
Summary: Jihoon is born without a soulmate, and he struggles with that fact for most of his life.But a stranger gives him a piece of advice that changes that feeling of struggle.





	Ink

They say that from the moment you’re born, you’re born with a soulmate. Their name, tattooed on your wrist in some sort of biological ink, that’s just always there.

Jihoon never had that.

When he was little, he didn’t question it. At least not up until he was eight, when one night he was unable to sleep, and eventually his parents’ shouting arose enough curiosity to make him leave the warmth of his racecar bed, and tiptoe down the stairs to peek in the kitchen.

“What is he going to do when he goes off to college? Or gets a job? He’ll _know_!” His father shouted. “Most people make choices in their life that help them find their soulmate- they travel, they pick a certain college for a certain reason, get a particular job in a certain place! He won’t have that! He’ll be directionless, he’ll be lost!”

“Plenty of people in the world are born without a soulmate! It’s _normal!”_ Jihoon’s mother’s voice is desperate, like this is a point she’s tried to make before. Jihoon’s head swims with confusion. What’s a soulmate?

“You know what this is about, honey.” His father’s voice is quiet, and tired, and he’s rubbing his hands over his face. “I want him to be successful. You know how my brother ended up.”

“Your brother ended up where he was because he let the fact that he didn’t have a soulmate get the best of him. He drank his life away, and your family shunned him.” Jihoon’s mother’s voice is dark, and quiet, and clearly full of rage. “Jihoon will be alright. He’ll always have the two of us, and he’ll make good friends along the way. He’ll have a support system.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.” Jihoon’s father sighs. “What are we going to tell him when he starts asking about other kids? And the names on their wrists? What are we going to tell him when people start falling in love, and he doesn’t get that?”

Jihoon blinks. That’s what the inky black stains on his classmate’s forearms were? That’s what his mom and dad had on their forearms?

“People fall in love, even if they don’t have a soulmate.” Jihoon’s mother replies.

“And 99 percent of the time, their ‘love’ fails. That’s why people have divorce lawyers.”

“What’s divorce?” Jihoon pipes up from his hiding place behind the corner. Both his parents turn to look at him, eyes wide with surprise.

“Nothing, sweetie. What are you doing up?” His mother hurries over and kneels down to be eye level with her tiny son, and smooths out his hair.

“I couldn’t sleep. Momma what’s a soulmate? Is that what this is?” Jihoon points to the faded, blurring script on her arm. She nods a little.

“Yes sweetie. I’ll explain it in the morning. But it’s late and you need to get to sleep, okay?” And with that, his mother guides him back up the stairs and tucks him back in.

When Jihoon hits middle school, it’s the first thing he hears about someone finding their soulmate. It’s rare, from what Jihoon knows, for someone to find their soulmate so early on. It’s a few of his classmates, Jihoon doesn’t even remember their names anymore. He just knows that it seems to be the beginning of everyone’s sudden obsession with the names on their wrists.

He notices it all the time now. Any time he meets someone new, their eyes seem to drift to his forearm, looking for their own name scribbled there, only to be met with the pale, blank skin of Jihoon’s arms.

When he hits high school, a few more people have found their soulmate, but most people are “experimenting.” They’re beginning to explore relationships, and how relationships work. It’s a Saturday night, in his sophomore year of high school, when Jihoon’s best friend, Mingyu, pulls up at his house.

Jihoon has no idea how he became friends with Mingyu of all people- they’re polar opposites. Mingyu is taller than Jihoon, extremely good looking, charismatic as hell, and outgoing- he has friends everywhere. Jihoon, on the other hand, is a complete introvert, he’s shorter than most boys his age, and closer to average in appearance. Mingyu plays sports, Jihoon reads books. They’re nothing alike, but Mingyu, apparently, decided that Jihoon would make a good friend.

Jihoon has no desire to go to this party, he’s not a huge fan of being thrown in a crowd of horny, usually drunk, teenagers. But Mingyu insisted that he go and gave him no choice. Mingyu literally _picks him up_ when Jihoon adamantly demands that they just hang out at home and watch some movies, and places his best friend in the car.

“Just come with me! Even just for an hour. I don’t want to go by myself, Jihoon.” Mingyu pouts, jutting his lower lip out ever so slightly than his upper lift, and bats his eyelashes on his big, brown, puppy-dog eyes, and Jihoon huffs in response.

“Fine. But I’m timing it. _Only_ for an hour.”

Mingyu’s face lights up, and they’re off to the party.

Jihoon hates it just as much as he thought he would. They’re stupid drunk kids, and they’re all trying to dance with one another, and make out while leaning against any available surface. It’s a wild scene, and Jihoon wants no part of it. So he remains in the kitchen, until a handsome stranger slides up to his side, giving him a small, shy smile.

“You not a fan of parties either?” The other boy’s voice is deep and smooth, at least considering their age, and Jihoon nods a little. “I think they’re stupid.” The boy is scrawny, and a little bit shorter than Mingyu. His hair is dark and it just brushes the tops of his eyes, and he has a beanie on his head. Jihoon looks his outfit over and notices the _Metallica_ shirt the boy is wearing.

“I like your shirt.” Jihoon says softly. “You into classic stuff?”

The other boy smiles a little. “Yeah. _Queen, Aerosmith, The Beatles._ You name it.”

“Nice! I’m Jihoon.” Jihoon holds a hand out.

“Wonwoo. Nice to meet you.” Wonwoo takes his hand and shakes it, and that’s when Jihoon notices the name on his wrist. _Wen Junhui._

Jihoon can’t help but sigh a little.

“JIHOONIE!” A voice bellows over the music, and Jihoon turns to see Mingyu barreling towards him with his arms wide open, a grin on his face. “Come dance with meeee!” Mingyu giggles, and Jihoon knows for a fact that he’s not drunk, he’s just _excited_. That’s how Mingyu gets- just like a rambunctious puppy.

“No, no, no, no!” Jihoon holds his arms up, but Mingyu is sweeping him off into the crowd with laughter, and soon enough Jihoon has lost Mingyu, and some hot stranger is flirting it up with him. Jihoon is annoyed at first and is just trying to find Mingyu in the crowd. But when the guy grabs his arm, and stops him from leaving, with a sigh of guilt, Jihoon stops.

Jihoon has no idea who this charismatic senior is, but he’s _hot_ , and he’s _complimenting Jihoon’s eyes._ Jihoon’s heart is racing and his stomach is full of butterflies. His cheeks are a rosy color, and before he knows it, Jihoon is flirting _back_. He’s not sure _why_ or _how_ this extremely attractive boy is, but he’s totally into it.

And just as suddenly as the flirting started, the boy is kissing Jihoon with ease, and Jihoon’s eyes widen in shock. He goes with it though, and at the end of the night, he’s got the guy’s number.

They start dating a few weeks later, and Jihoon is happy. He feels like he fits in, in a weird way, like he couldn’t care less about the name on his boyfriend’s arm, or the lack of name on his own arm. They date until the beginning of Jihoon’s junior year- his boyfriend sent off to college, and Jihoon is shocked to receive a text with a simple photo and an “I’m so sorry it’s like this, Jihoonie.”

In the photo, is his boyfriend’s arm, and the arm of another, the name on the other arm matching his boyfriend’s name.

Jihoon doesn’t feel so good about his blank arm now.

Jihoon passes the rest of his schooling without a problem, Mingyu and Wonwoo remaining his ever-faithful best friends. And then it comes time for University. All Jihoon knows, is he wants to be a producer, one of the best in the country, and maybe even the world. He goes to the school of his choice- the other two practically begging him to join, with his credentials. And he works hard, to achieve his dreams. Wonwoo attends the same University as him, but Mingyu decides to try studying abroad, as a part of an exchange program.

About two weeks in, Jihoon and Wonwoo receive a video chat call from their old friend.

“It’s Gyu! Jihoon come here!” Wonwoo waves Jihoon over to the computer excitedly. He sits beside Wonwoo with a smile, greeting his friend.

“Mingyu! What’s the hold up, why’s it taken you so long to call?” Jihoon laughs.

“Well… That’s just it… Minghao, come here!” Mingyu’s grinning ear to ear.

Jihoon’s mind flashes back to all his memories with Mingyu, and the name on his wrist, one that Mingyu had panicked over several times. _Xu Minghao._

A thin man with long hair and a soft smile appears on screen, waving a little. “Hello…” The man’s voice is soft, and a blush dusts his cheeks.

“Woah! Mingyu!? You found your soulmate? That’s amazing!” Wonwoo smiles brightly and applauds their friend, who grins at his friends through the screen.

“Congrats…” Jihoon’s heart sinks. He’s not sure why he’s feeling this way, he should be happy for his best friend. But there’s a part of him that feels the strongest, ugliest, bitter resentment for it all.

Jihoon dates a guy about halfway through his second year of college. His name is Seungcheol, and he’s genuinely the sweetest guy Jihoon has ever met. Unfortunately, he has not one, but _two_ names scrawled on his wrist. Seungcheol told him not to worry about it.

“My parents were soulmates. But they divorced. They were a different kind of soulmate. Like the ones that are just the best of friends. Not the kind that work out as a couple. They’re both dating other people- my dad’s fiancée, her soulmate passed away. My mom’s boyfriend doesn’t have a name on his wrist. Like you,” Seungcheol had explained. Jihoon had nodded. “Besides, I think the whole soulmate thing is bullshit. Who cares if something wrote a name on your wrist? It’s just a name. Not to mention one of my soul mates lives on the other side of the world, and there’s a good chance that I’ll never meet him.”

Seungcheol was honestly one of the best people Jihoon had ever met. Jihoon was undoubtedly in love with him, he knew that much for a fact. And he constantly reminded Jihoon that he was important, and special, and a name on your wrist wasn’t worth it.

Wonwoo finds his soulmate shortly after graduating college. Mingyu brought Minghao home for a visit, and to introduce him (properly) to all his friends, and Minghao had brought one of his best friends with him. _Wen Junhui_.

Junhui is another quiet guy, with a bright smile and a gentle soul, and he meshes perfectly with Wonwoo. Wonwoo is over the moon about this guy. So over the moon, in fact, that only three months after he meets Jun, he proposes.

“Just a small wedding! You dumbasses are all invited, and then our parents, grandparents, and siblings.” Wonwoo had toasted drunkenly at the bar, the night that Junhui had revealed the simple silver band on his finger. Mingyu and Minghao are elated for Wonwoo, and Jihoon tries so hard to stay positive, and be happy for his friends, but something inside eats away at his heart.

His friends all laugh around the table, and Jihoon remains slumped in his chair at the dinner table, lost in his own thoughts, until he feels someone gently take his hand and give it a squeeze. He looks up and is brought back to reality by none other than Seungcheol.

“Remember, Jihoon. A name doesn’t mean a thing. You’re special to us all, in your own way. And we all love you.” Seungcheol’s voice is soft, and he presses a gentle kiss to Jihoon’s temple. Things feel okay again, for a while.

Then Seungcheol gets a temp job in America. Jihoon is apprehensive, because last time he let someone go away for something, they left him. And considering where Seungcheol is going, and the _American name_ tattooed on his wrist, Jihoon’s heart has a hard time dealing with it.

_Joshua Hong._

Jihoon practically screams in anger when Seungcheol’s voice crackles down the line of their shitty international connection phone call. “I fucking _knew_ it! I knew it, Seungcheol!”

“That’s not the point-”

“The point is you _lied_ , Seungcheol! You told me you didn’t care about a damn name on your wrist! You told me that it would never happen! Well guess fucking what?! There’s name one of two, and you know the new intern at the damn label?! He’s the _other name! Yoon fucking Jeonghan!_ ” Jihoon shouts into the phone.

“Jihoon, I- I’m sorry, but I-”

“Whatever, Seungcheol. I- I know it doesn’t sound it, but I’m happy for you. I’m just not happy for me.” Jihoon whispers that last part, feeling his heart shattering in his chest. He was in love with Seungcheol. They’d been dating for two years now, it was hard not to be upset. It was hard not to love Seungcheol, too. Some dumb part of Jihoon seemed to think that maybe he had found his own… backwards version of a soulmate.

But Jihoon was wrong.

“Jihoon, thank you… But I do love you, even if- even if now,  it’ll be platonic. You’re a wonderful, talented person, and you deserve love. Mingyu and Minghao, and Wonwoo and Junhui, and me, and your mom and dad…. We all love you. And we support you-”

“Yeah, I know. And I’m special to you all in my own way. Well I’m sick of things being this way. I want love, I want something I can hold on to, I want something real. Not just flings, to get me through life. I want a damn _soulmate_ , Seungcheol! Do you know what it feels like to _know_ that you’ll never have that?! To know that you’ll never have that _connection_ with someone? To know there’s no hope for you?!” Jihoon’s voice cracks. “I hate it. I hate this damn life, and I hate these damn names, and I hate that I was born without one. I hate knowing that I’ll never truly belong to anyone, I hate knowing that I’ll never truly know the love and bond that soulmates have. I hate knowing that nobody has my heart.”

Jihoon hangs up after that, and clings to the nearest couch cushion, crying into it, his chest devoid of any emotion other than longing, and sorrow, and rage. He cries for hours, his phone buzzing incessantly, Seungcheol asking him to call him back ASAP, Seungcheol worrying about him, Seungcheol wanting to know if he was okay.

And then Mingyu and Wonwoo are texting him, from their temporary locations in _fucking China_ , for fucks sake, telling them that Seungcheol explained everything, and that Seungcheol is worried, and begging him to please, for the sake of their sanity, to call or at least text one of them.

But when Jihoon is finally finished crying- or rather he thinks he is, his body doesn’t seem to produce any more tears- he just lays there, staring off into the darkness of the room, the clock somewhere in the house ticking, and it’s just short of 4 am. He finally decides to drag himself from the couch, and he just grabs his keys and slips his favorite sweatshirt on, and walks through town, feeling a hole where his heart should be.

The streets around him are empty, no one around to see, no one around to cry.

His body feels numb, and empty.

His heart feels empty, too.

Jihoon finds himself on the bridge, staring down into the black abyss of water below him, and he wonders if he were born in a different world, in a different time, if maybe he’d have found love, if maybe he had a shot at finding love.

And then he wonders why this world must be the way it is. _Everyone is born with a soulmate_. But if that’s considered the laws of nature, then why is it that those hard rules can be broken, or made exceptions for? It just doesn’t make sense to Jihoon.

And he finds himself on a bench crying again, wondering why he of all people had no name on his cursed wrist, and what he did to be destined to be alone.

“Excuse me? Are you alright….?”

Jihoon doesn’t bother looking up at whatever stranger is talking to him, he just simply tells them to get lost, through his hiccupping sobs and salty, cheek-staining tears. His voice is muffled by the arms he’s got his head buried into, the ones that are holding his knees to his chest. A gentle hand pats his shoulder.

“It’s okay to cry. I’m just concerned as to why you’re crying on a bridge at almost five in the morning. Are you lost? Are you hurt?” The owner of the voice keeps his voice low, and calming, and Jihoon looks up at him angrily, about to yell at him to go away.

The man sitting beside him is roughly his age, with pastel pink hair and the softest, roundest cheeks that Jihoon has ever seen. He’s cute, something akin to a hamster, with his chubby cheeks and happy eyes.

Jihoon promptly shuts his mouth and scoots away from the stranger, realizing the full weirdness of the scenario. He sniffles angrily and wipes his face on his sweatshirt sleeves. “Maybe I should be asking you the same thing. What normal person is out at five in the morning?” Jihoon doesn’t mean for his voice to come out so harsh, but it does.

A blush rises on the other man’s cheeks, out of embarrassment. “Ah, well… My name is Soonyoung… I uh… Well I kinda fell asleep in the dance studio last night and I’m late to my barista job… So… Typically I work right about now…”

Jihoon blinks at Soonyoung.

“Look, it’s getting cold, I’m guessing you haven’t had any sleep. Come with me, and I’ll buy you a coffee, okay? Then you can talk to me about whatever is going on. I just- I want to make sure you’re okay.” Soonyoung’s voice is soft and reassuring.

“What coffee shop?” Jihoon raises an eyebrow, all too wary of strangers offering to take him places.

“Java Jives. On 7th and Bear Street.” Soonyoung says. Jihoon nods. He’d been there before a few times. Jihoon lets Soonyoung help him off the bench, and lead him in the direction of the coffee shop. Upon arrival, Soonyoung unlocks the place- he owns the shop, apparently, and starts on brewing a hot cup of coffee. Very few, if any at all, customers are coming in at this hour of day. So Soonyoung gets to work on opening things up. Jihoon sits in a corner booth and stares out the window at the lightening sky, and the occasional person passing by. Once in a while he glances over at the pink haired boy working on cleaning machines for opening and restocking the supplies, but mostly he stares out the window, and ponders what he’s doing here.

He's brought out of his thoughts when fingertips gently brush his back, and Jihoon snaps his head to see who’s touching him, only to see Soonyoung reaching from behind him to set a coffee in front of Jihoon. Jihoon can’t help but let his eyes be drawn to the forearm poking out from Soonyoung’s white button down shirt sleeve, and see no name written there. Jihoon glances up at Soonyoung, who offers him a warm smile.

“I thought maybe you’d like some coffee. I wasn’t sure what you wanted in it, or if you liked it warm or iced or what- so I just went classic black coffee. We have lots of different flavors and creamers and plenty of sugar you can add to it, if that’s what you’d like.” Soonyoung sets a small tray with an array of coffee creamers and sugar packets and flavor additives- caramel, mocha, hazelnut… Jihoon feels overwhelmed with the selection.

But he picks out four French vanilla creamers and six sugar packets. “I like it to taste less like coffee and more like sugar.” Jihoon says lightly. It’s something that Mingyu and Wonwoo had teased him for constantly over the years, but Jihoon didn’t care. He thought straight coffee tasted like dirt.

“Me too. Hazelnut is my go to, though. But French vanilla is a good option. I’ve just got a few more things to set up and then I’ll be back over, and you can talk to me if you’d like.” Soonyoung takes the tray and brings it around the shop, setting out creamers and sugar packets at each basket on the tables, and Jihoon watched him go about his work, while he mixed his coffee.

Jihoon thought Soonyoung was cute, in his white button down and black jeans, with a little brown apron around his waist, a typical barista boy getup. His nametag reads SOONYOUNG and label of manager, which he had adorned with little heart stickers on all the corners. Jihoon looks at the clock on the wall opposite him and sees it’s almost 6, and he sips his coffee, suddenly feeling the exhaustion in his body. His tired state makes him zone out on the booth opposite him, and his mind replays the last 6 hours, most of it full of crying.

He comes out of his zone when he realizes he’s sipped all his coffee out of existence and Soonyoung is approaching with a fresh cup, and the creamers he used last time. He has a second cup in his hand, but that one is frothy on top, and has a small, sweet tinge mingling with the usual bitter aroma coffee gives off.

Soonyoung slides into the seat opposite Jihoon. “I’ve got half an hour before the first employees arrive for work, and an hour before the first customers come in. What’s going on?” Soonyoung sets his cup down and slides Jihoon’s coffee across the table and lets him stir in his additives.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed- well… I guess not, since it would be covered by my sweatshirt- but- I don’t have a soulmate. And I got dumped by my ex, who told me he didn’t give a shit about his soulmates, and then he goes to America, meets _one_ of his _two_ soulmates, and calls me in the middle of the night during one of the few hours we have to talk to one another, and tells me he’s breaking up with me for his soulmate. I dated him for _two years_ , and he just leaves like its nothing… and all my friends have found their soulmates, and I just- I’ve got nothing, and I-” Jihoon takes a deep breath. “I fucking hate it.” Jihoon wants to cry again.

“Oh… That’s awful…”

“Jihoon. Lee Jihoon.”

“I’m so sorry, Jihoon. I- I understand, though. Where you’re coming from, I mean. I don’t have a name on my arm either, on either of them, actually.” Soonyoung sets both his forearms on the table, facing upwards, as proof. “And the last of my friends just got married a couple months ago, and I was his best man. It’s a double-edged sword. You’re happy, because they’re happy, and they’ve found their _one_ , but… it feels wrong, knowing that it should be normal, and you’re not part of the norm. Not to mention feeling like you won’t ever feel love like that.”

Jihoon blinks at Soonyoung. “Yeah…” His voice is quiet, and he’s in shock that Soonyoung gets it. He _gets it._

“But, it’ll hurt less in time. And you’ll meet more people without soulmates, as time goes on. Did you know that plenty of people without soulmates have happy, successful relationships with one another? You’ll find love, Jihoon, even if it’s not a soulmate. Who knows, maybe it’ll be your actual soulmate, maybe it’s just a fluke and you just didn’t get the name. Maybe it’s just invisible ink for people like us. Maybe we’re just like everyone else, but it’s something written on our actual soul?”

Jihoon hadn’t ever thought of it that way. If soulmates are two souls meant to be… Then maybe Jihoon’s was just written there, written in his soul. And he’d meet them someday, and he’d just know, like it was inked on his arm for his whole life.

“But in the meantime, find something to marry your soul to. You work, a pet, a new hobby. That’s what I’m doing, just- just with my dancing. It really helps, it’s bringing me more positivity, and it’s made me really improve my skills.”

“Soonyoung, I- thank you…” Jihoon’s voice is quiet, and he looks at the pink haired boy who blushes the same color as his hair.

“Oh, don’t thank me. I’m just trying to help.” Soonyoung’s smile is bright, and it warms Jihoon’s heart. At that point, Jihoon’s phone begins going off- his alarm, to get up for work.

“I- oh, shit… I have to be to work in an hour and I haven’t slept at all…. Lovely. Listen, Soonyoung, I really, _really_ appreciate this… Thank you so much for the coffee and giving me advice… Let me repay you… I- How about I take you out for dinner or something, some time? As a thank you…” Jihoon pulls out his wallet and slaps a twenty on the table.

“No, don’t worry about it, the coffees are on the house.” Soonyoung pushes the twenty back to Jihoon, who shakes his head.

“Nope. I’m paying. And I need your number, please. I’d really like to thank you.” Jihoon says softly. Soonyoung agrees, rambling his number off as Jihoon saves it in his phone. “I’ll text you! Thank you, Soonyoung.”

Jihoon is feeling a tad bit better about the lack of name on his arm.

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, this was a weird ending, if you want a second part, let me know, and I'll write one up, I just couldn't think of a good way to end this without it dragging out. This was also written super late at night, and it's unedited, so sorry for any mistakes. 
> 
> Honestly I told myself I'd never write the whole soulmate trope because I thought it was overrated. But I wrote this because I've been feeling particularly sad lately. This was sort of my... letting things out. 
> 
>  
> 
> Here's my Twitter if you want some lame kpop content in your life, I try to be funny sometimes: https://twitter.com/cereal_jbob


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